#83. A God Honoring Marriage

Published by Ben Stahl on July 24, 2020July 24, 2020

Now please, let us make a small upper room on the wall; and let us put a bed for him there, and a table and a chair and a lamp stand; so it will be whenever he comes to us, he can turn in there. And it happened one day that he came there, and he turned in to the upper room and lay down there.

II Kings 4:10-11 NKJV

Many theological matters find their best exposition through parables and historic examples. What is the kingdom of Heaven like? It “is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it” (Matt. 13:45-46). What does it mean to be called to suffer? Christ suffered for us leaving an example …who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously…” (I Peter 2:21-24). How can I know the resurrection on the last day to be true? “But now Christ is risen from the dead, and has become the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep” (I Cor. 15:20).

Few theological topics seem to be more polarizing at present than the topic of men and women, wives and husbands, and their God-ordained roles in this life. In an effort to promote certain terminology that neither the Scripture nor Reformed confessions espouse or ideologies that are in opposition to Scripture, the church has been left unsettled as to the theology of male and female relationships and roles. Many husbands and wives, sessions, and presbyters, have had long discussions and debates on portions of Scripture unpopular with the world or questionably used in the church.

What does it mean for wives to submit to their own husbands as to the Lord (Eph. 5:22, Col. 3:18, I Peter 3:1-2)? What does it mean for husbands to love their wives as Christ also loved the church (Eph. 5:25) or for husbands to give honor to the wife (I Peter 3:7)? How are we to understand such portions of Scripture in this present evil age? The Lord does not leave us without help, but gives us a living example from a husband and wife whose names we will only know in glory. The wife is of course the Shunammite woman. Her husband is only referred to as “her husband.” But together they teach us a great deal about the way God has ordained for husbands and wives in particular to be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another (Christian Living 101).

Notice first the reverence, respect, and submissiveness that the Shunammite woman had for her husband. She was a very wise woman, “notable” in the land. “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness” (Prov. 31:26). She saw a way to consider the needs of Elisha and care for them. She made a plan (vs. 10), she gave a godly basis for her request (vs. 9), and she did not demand it of her husband but asked him to do this not for her but with her: “Please, let us make a small upper room on the wall…” (vs. 10). Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands; look to the Shunammite woman.

Next, notice the love, honor, and cherishing of the husband for his wife. He loved her as he loved himself. So great is the honor bestowed by the husband on the wife that we do not read of any debate or argument or concern; “the heart of her husband safely trusts in her… he praises her,” for she was a woman who feared the Lord. By the text’s next sentence the room has been made (vs. 11). The silence of the Scripture suggests a marriage relationship filled with love by husband and wife for one another and the Lord. The husband, as we will see again in vs.’ 22-25, trusted her and honored her wishes, loving her even as himself. Husbands, love your wives; look to the Shunammite’s husband.

Finally, as the Shunammite woman submitted to and reverenced her husband, and the husband loved and honored the wife, together in this God ordained marriage they honored, glorified, and enjoyed the Lord. One day, the man of God, Elisha, turned in to the upper room and lay down there (vs. 11).

Here is the very picture of a God glorifying marriage that was used for the advancement and benefit of the kingdom of God. In serving the Lord and living together according to the Word of God, this husband and wife glorified God and were profitable servants in His kingdom. We can waste our hours and days in contention as husbands and wives or we can submit ourselves to the Word of God and the service of Christ as He has called us to do. Perhaps the lack of the latter practice has created the problems we now face as a church. If we live before the Lord in our marriages as the Shunammite woman and her husband, perhaps the theological issues of male and female, husband and wife roles will once again be clear and matters of peace in Christ’s kingdom.

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